03.30.09
We Interrupt This Recession To Bring You: A Brief Dissertation on Middle Class Consumption
You know what I loved back when Kieran and I were engaged? Um, other than simply being engaged and planning a life together? The planning books. I appreciated very much the fact that someone far more organized and experienced than me in planning a wedding had broken down what needed to be done into manageable chunks and provided a handy budget estimate to boot. I basically would like all of the facets of my adult life to be broken down in this manner: checklists, to-dos, timelines, budget percentages. Because…please? PLEASE? I give up. I GIVE UP. Daily, weekly, monthly, yearly—I need help.
Anyway, I’m just going to be perfectly honest despite the risk of having people hiss at me for being materialistic and THE RECESSION, etc.: the guide I appreciated the most was a little pull-out section from (yes) a Martha Stewart Weddings magazine that provided a checklist of household items you should register for, complete with suggested quantities and (AND!) a brief explanation of how they arrived at those numbers. Go ahead and roll your eyes. I’ll wait.
Now, I know that the world is divided into two camps: those potential wedding guests who deeply appreciate the bridal registry, as it saves them from having to figure out what in tarnation to give as a gift and in what colour, and those who think it’s unspeakably tacky and gauche to openly acknowledge that people, as a general rule, bring gifts to weddings and that, no, you do not want a potato clock (true story that, by the way). So, yes, I am familiar with the arguments, and to that I say: Open. Bar. Now leave me alone.
Anyway, the checklist. I actually gave the checklist a fairly thorough examination, eliminated a number of items that seemed ridiculous and particular to a Martha Stewart existence (see: matching luggage) as opposed to a jeci and Kieran existence (”Honey? Did you put the Louis Vuitton bags inside the tent? I don’t want sparks from the campfire to ruin them!”), but mostly followed what seemed to be rather sensible advice. Like I said, it was relieving to have someone who’s taken the time to figure out such things, because, tell me readers, how many towels do you need in a household? Have you ever thought about it, the specific number of towels the average household needs? Yeah, me neither. But there’s a formula and it involves you, the laundry hamper, and surprise house guests. And all of a sudden, Martha Stewart’s ridiculously anal little list is looking pretty awesome when you are able to hand your guests nice, clean towels that you never once had to use to dry off an irate cat you had to wrestle into the tub after it gave itself diarrhea from eating the houseplants.
At the time, I wasn’t sure about the list. For example, are 12 dishes instead of eight really necessary? It felt a little gluttonous to bleep in the extra four plates with the little registry-making zapper, but the explanation that some will break over the years seemed sound. And here we are. It’s been three years and some change, and my faith in the list is slowly building. For example: three years and change appears to be precisely the amount of time for your linens to begin to disintegrate, and I’m here tell you that, indeed, Martha Stewart was right. First to go were the sheets. I don’t know how many sets of sheets Ms. Stewart recommended, but I remember deciding to ignore her advice and registered for only one set. I further ignored the brisk treatise on thread count and registered for the one (1) set of sheets that came in the colour I liked best, despite the fact that they were a polyester blend. I believe this decision was based on the notion that we were already in possession of sheets, however dismal, but not so much in possession of a roomy linen closet. Fast forward three years and the pretty, inexpensive sheets are sporting various and sundry stains* and, now, an enormous spreading hole. The backup sheets, now 10 years old, are in a similar state. And, guess what? We have a series of house guests lined up in the coming weeks and, suddenly, the role of guest sheets is coming to light as I contemplate the notion of my guests flipping back the covers and pretending to be comfortable climbing into…someone else’s stains**. So, yes Martha, I am going to buy guest sheets and they will be 100% cotton this time and will have a midway respectable thread count. I am also cheap, and not nearly as materialistic as this post may imply, so I will not be replacing my wedding set entirely, but will instead be casting about to find a new fitted sheet that somewhat matches the existing set. Or a fitted sheet that is on sale. Whatever.
I did, as I alluded to before, follow the guidelines for towels and—you know it’s coming—well, Martha Stewart was right. One of our towels has mysteriously ripped (a good guess is that it fell from the towering pile of laundry and got caught in the closet door) and, upon discovering this this morning, I quickly did some calculations and, even when if I’m always behind on laundry, guests can pop in and still count on receiving a respectable towel. No, really, guys. I promise.
So, I’ve been appreciating that list all over again and I’ve come to realize that I want more. Lists like that, I mean. Lists from people who are experienced and knowledgeable and far more detail oriented than I such that they actually take heed when a pair of tongs go missing and anticipate the impact this may have on their household. And more than any other list, I would LOVE a list that details just the right number and kinds of clothes the average person should have. For example: How many jeans is just the right number of jeans? You’ve got to have your basic, everyday, favourite jeans that you wear to the grocery store and the like, but then you also need something dressier for going for drinks or for casual Fridays (but not too casual—oh, misnomers), and there’s always laundry day that has to be accounted for. And what about sweaters? Is there a magic combination of cardigans, turtlenecks, and sweater vests that cross-references all the possible weather conditions with your slacks and shoes? I want to know, because I hate shopping. Hate. I want an efficient, failsafe, time-proven system that maximizes my dollar and minimizes my time in the shops.***
And here is where I get to the crux of the issue: it’s not because I love stuff so much that I want these lists. It’s because I hate clutter and waste so thoroughly that I want them. I want to be guided through making well thought-out selections with an eye towards quality and longevity and, moreover, towards just enough. Yes, in all honesty, the wedding registry is a rather shameless exercise in conspicuous consumption. And yet…we all need towels and sheets and plates (and jeans!), and there’s something rather beautiful in having a home full of carefully selected items, none of which are in excess of what you need. I rather wish I could say the same about my closet. But, sadly, my closet is a hodgepodge of misfires: shirts that have lost their shape because they were too cheap; too many brown dress pants because…I don’t know why, actually; one sad pair of black dress pants that languish unworn most of the time due to an untrustowrthy fly; and five pairs of jeans (definitely too many), none of which I like and all of which contributed to my overconsumption of jeans in the vain hope that the next pair would be the winning ticket. It all seems to be such a thoughtless waste—of money, of space, of (oh, dear God, but it’s true) child labour—and I just wish that I could cut to the chase and figure this muddle out before wasting any more.
And, finally, just because this is very much on topic: I thrilled when I saw this and suspect you might too. Yes. YES. TELL ME EXACTLY WHICH SPICES I NEED AND WHICH ONES ARE USELESS so that I may never again have a spice jar launch itself from my bursting cupboard, cracking me on the side of the head, showering me in cinnamon, and causing my right ear to ring for nine hours. Because, HAHAHA, wasn’t that swell?
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*Before you start blushing and pretending I didn’t just say that, please know that I’m referring to an ink stain (who even knows anymore how these things happen), a large milk stain from when I tried to soak the ink stain in milk (usually works if you get to it right away), and (sexy!) some hairball stains from the trinkets that the cats occassionally leave as a lovely bedtime surprise. Really, Martha Stewart would become apoplectic if she knew.
**I will not be able to provide the above footnote to my guests when they climb into bed.
***This is all supposing a world in which a) I actually have spending money and, also b) there is no recession and I am not in danger of getting laid off. But, you know, hypothetically speaking.